I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
