There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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