OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
