I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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