Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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