are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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