I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
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Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
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I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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