if you like me you must not know who I am
You can't special order awesome
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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