dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
