I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
