What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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