he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
