I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It was confusing and full of hummus
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize