You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
