Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
it glows. i had to have it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
