This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
