My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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