i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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