so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
