is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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