its not stalking. its research.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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