my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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