He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
