dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
