And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
