You can't special order awesome
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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