Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Text me some of your sweat
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
