Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
