I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
