And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We have started to decorate penises.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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