both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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