Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
