I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
