just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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