I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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