I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
