Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
