That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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