i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize