How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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