How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
