They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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