Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
