I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize