just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
