We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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