their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
