It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
wow bdsm is so cute
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
