her vagine was all disorganized.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
