Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
