that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
