I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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