I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
