never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
