what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
