i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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