wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
