she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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