I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
