I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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