i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
