your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
