I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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