i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
