it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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