is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He? As in you personified your dick?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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