UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
